Major disappointment is the punchline of Flanagan’s hyped-up tour, making a mockery of fans who paid top whack for lacklustre material. The 5-year hiatus has proved fruitless in content for this once quotable cockney diamond.

It was supposed to be the hottest ticket in town: Flanagan, fresh from his sold out stint at the O2 was to grace the regional theatres with his presence with several intimate gigs after a 5 year break.

Like thousands of other long-time Micky Flanagan fans, I signed up to the mailing list, ready for the exclusive pre-sale link to drop in my inbox for Ticketmaster. I ensured that my membership with the Marlowe was still going to be in-date for the digital queue for the theatre itself. I had a plethora of iPads and laptops on standby at the kitchen table, frequently refreshing the pages of each browser circa 10am to secure tickets for my favourite comedian.

Nothing. After half an hour of perseverance I found 3 tickets via Ticketmaster from the premium section – some seats in the stalls for £127 each …over double the price advertised. But….BIG FAN … I just had to go … “F*** it!” I said as I pressed checkout, sounding something like Flanagan himself : “We’re going OUT OUT …”

I wish I hadn’t bothered.

Something was off when we arrived. The auditorium had music blasting out of it as we took our seats (A choice David Essex track in the interval ended up being the highlight of the evening) and the floor was sticky.

Drunken men carried 3 beers each in their hands and they stumbled into their seats: the theatre’s ‘one drink at a time’ rule was clearly waived for this performance, to reclaim some lost earnings from Ticketmaster’s involvement perhaps? Flanagan’s entrance onto the stage was completely obscured by a long line of people in the stalls standing up to allow a drunken group of men into the centre of the row.

Intoxicated latecomers arrived continuously throughout the first half of the show. One man shouted out his intention to sniff a line during the interval. Drunk and stoned. Brilliant.

Now this clientele, completely off their heads on were laughing uproariously and what has got to be the worst segment of standup comedy I have ever seen from a comedian… Gratuitous vulgarity coupled with observations of nothingness would have been met with silence from a sober audience. It felt like I watching a totally different comedian – some persistent hooligan who thought he’d have a go at getting up on stage, thinking that the merest mention of a ‘ball sack’ or promise of ‘rimming’ will have them falling about in the aisles.

Particularly uncomfortable was the overtly sexual conversation with the 15 year old in the front row. The show was supposed to be 16+: a joke about being slung out would have sufficed. No need to engage directly in conversation with an underage boy about women’s body parts and taboo sexual acts in this way.

His unamusing recollections of lockdown only did more to remind us that he had a lot of time on his hands, and this is all he could come up with…

I tried to ask my party if they wanted to leave during the interval, but they couldn’t hear me over the booming music, hyping the audience to buy more drinks, with a bloke spilling one of his beers on my foot.

Thankfully the second-half was a bit better and passable for Micky Flanagan comedy. There were glimpses at the character he used to be, with astute and relatable recollections of banality – like the joy of being given a nice biscuit tin and finding a use for it…or reassuring his wife about her ageing turkey neck.

Where the likes of us began to titter, the disorderly became quiet, waiting for the next time the c word would be mentioned or, the leitmotif of Flanagan’s leathery privates to come round again.

Perhaps this misguided audience feedback has scuppered the quality of material for this tour. Or else, our cockney diamond has lost his lustre.

Entertainment ★★☆☆☆

I enjoyed the segment about the dross family (Flanagan uses a slightly stronger adjective) who you see on the horizon, tattooed and boozed up, who don’t give a toss about anything or anyone but causing noise and mayhem. I felt a certain irony to this: the audience were laughing seemingly on his side, when I just felt he was giving an accurate description of 3/4 of the audience. Oh here we go … you say to yourself when you see them coming. I was doing this when I saw who was about to sit next to me…

Star Power ★★☆☆☆

5 years ago, what you saw on the DVD was the standard you got live. This was the worst stand-up show I have ever seen, but with the biggest hype I’ve personally encountered. 5 stars for marketing … 1 star for the first half. Luckily the second has some funny moments, just about warranting Flanagan’s signature stroke of the hair behind the ear with a pansophical smile.

Value ★☆☆☆☆

At £127 a ticket for my local theatre, we felt completely ripped off. Our haste at securing tickets for this seemed to me the biggest joke of the night. If I got them for £60, I’d have still felt short changed. Probably would have worked out £10 a laugh even at the publicised price.